I spent the last two years looking for a dentist I could work with. I have some special needs because Cerebral Palsy and Dystonia affect my ability to hold still, and Fibromyalgia makes the whole process very painful. I tried at  least six dentists in the East Bay. Finally, I called an old friend of the  family who teaches dentistry at UCLA. He referred me to the dental schools at several Universities. When I called the first place, the person we spoke to  had this reaction when told I had Cerebral Palsy; "Eww, what is THAT? What
kind of person has that?"  I looked at my assistant - and she looked at me,  and we hung up. That school has a lot of educating to do.

So, we called the next school, and they were fine with everything. At the  first visit, they decided they needed to sedate me, so the Doctor wrote me a  prescription for Valium. It was not enough, and I told him so. I had taken  Valium most of my life up until 4 years ago. But he persisted. So I went back a couple of weeks later, and they tried to work on me again. But my gums were so sensitive that they decided they were going to have to do a full  anesthesia which required I be admitted to a hospital. It looked like I was  going to lose three or four front teeth.

We scheduled an appointment for February, then they called saying they had to reschedule, so I didn't go in until March 1, 2001. When I woke up from the  surgery, I was told that five teeth had been removed. Okay, I thought, that's  too bad, but hopefully this will allow my mouth to heal.

In the meantime I got all kinds of advice from one of my personal care  assistants who is going through a similar problem with her teeth. Her dentist  talked to her, while mine said absolutely nothing about changing the way I  clean my teeth, how I eat, etc.. This entire thing has been like a wake-up  call to me, and now I'm passing on what I've learned to others. I have  changed a lot over the last three months, but my dentist wouldn't know about
that, as he never bothered to check in with me about how I might improve and keep my gums and teeth healthy. It seems as though he just expects me to go on as before, that I can't learn from my mistakes. But I can, and I have.  Most of us can when given the right information.

I assumed that when I had healed from the surgery the dentist would talk to  me about dentures. Well, I finally went in for a post op visit, and I asked  the dental student about a bridge, and the response I got shocked and  astonished me.

He said, "Well, I don't think the doctor had planned for a bridge."
I asked why not, and he sighed and said, "Well, I think it has to do with how  tight your muscles are, it would make the bridge pop out all the time."  I said, "Well honey, I am not going without teeth, no-no-no-no-no. What about implants?"

He said something to the effect that I still had a large chewing area, and  that implants would require they knock me out several more times, and they  didn't want to do that because of the risks involved with anesthesia. By this  time I was very angry, and I told him that I was not accepting a life without  teeth, and that it is my right to try for some sort of dentures, and please  have the Dr. call me.  I never heard back from the dentist or his student.

But I am not going away; I will not be put off.  I will have teeth. I will  not have The Look that conquers up so much negative stereotyping.

It's simply outrageous that dentists don't want to fit disabled people with  dentures. They seem to think it's all right for those of us with Cerebral  Palsy, Autism, and other developmental disabilities to go around with gaps in  our mouths. It might have been an acceptable appearance forty years ago, but it is no longer acceptable to be stigmatized in this way. Whenever you look  at a large group of people with developmental disabilities, there are always  a high percentage of people with teeth missing, and crooked remaining teeth.  The look has become part of the stereotype people have of us. We have enough  prejudice against us, we don't need the added stigma of gaping mouths.

Maybe you don't know this, but we do have a social life, and we do have interests in dating and getting married. We exist in the community now, instead of being hidden away in back rooms or in closets. I know you'd Never Dare tell somebody like my sister or my helpers to go without teeth, so why is it acceptable for me to go without teeth? Also, if I were working, I wouldn't go without teeth. As it is, I AM looking for a job, all I need is more strikes against me because I don't have a professional appearance.

It might be true that a bridge would pop out on occasion, but it is not your decision to make. It's my mouth, my life, and I am the one to decide what's going to happen to my mouth. If a bridge doesn't work, then try implants, for Pete's sake! If I need to be put under anesthesia for this, then that's my decision to make, not yours. I'm aware of the risks.

When will people realize that people with disabilities need to look as good as their "typical able bodied" neighbors? When will you realize that you should let the client make decisions for themselves, and discuss these things honestly with us? When will you learn that people are individuals, and need to be regarded as such? Why didn't you discuss my options with me before the surgery?

The more I think about The Look, the angrier I become. I have already worked  over half my life at improving my self esteem, the last thing that I need is  The Look. Dentists have a responsibility to make people look BETTER, not  worse. We don't need to perpetuate this stigma. And don't tell me that I  don't need teeth! I've seen what happens over time with the remaining teeth. They get crooked and the bite changes for the worse, and the lips lose their
muscle tone.  Really, you should do for us, what you'd do for your own  family. I think the dental profession had better update its practices, and do some soul searching.

A friend of mine has offered to do a disability awareness lecture at another  dental school, and they have gratefully accepted her offer. I would be open to doing the same. Properly educating the dentists of tomorrow will go a long way to repair some of the damage done in the past. And hopefully, by more of us speaking on the needs of people with disabilities we can save more folks from needing to have teeth removed.